


for now, for always

by falloutmars



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Secret Relationship, Sort Of, navigating through strange circumstances Together, pda is forbidden, thinking theyre subtle but are they....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falloutmars/pseuds/falloutmars
Summary: Punishable by death.It seems extreme, but that’s the world they live in. It’s the same everywhere, from their small upstate New York town of Riverdale to the city of London. It’s just a part of life, something they have to get used to. They grew up with it, their kids will grow up with it, yet it never seems normal.Public displays of affection are punishable by death. Forbidden. Illegal.–or, Betty and Jughead navigate through a life where something so normal is forbidden.
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 14
Kudos: 57
Collections: 7th Bughead Fanfiction Awards - Nominees





	for now, for always

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i hope you're well. i wrote this fic very loosely based off a prompt i barely followed. it's my first time really trying something that's not as straight forward as a canon-level universe, so i hope i did it justice and everything makes sense. enjoy!

Punishable by death.

It seems extreme, but that’s the world they live in. It’s the same everywhere, from their small upstate New York town of Riverdale to the city of London. It’s just a part of life, something they have to get used to. They grew up with it, their kids will grow up with it, yet it never seems normal.

Public displays of affection are punishable by death. Forbidden. Illegal. 

But only if seen. 

As long as Betty can remember, it had been that way. It confused her. PDA was – and still is – allowed in films. The only exception, and the only time Betty has ever seen two people _in love_ and allowed to show it. 

So as a child, and into her teenage years, it was confusing. She never saw her parents kiss or even hold hands. Still, to this day, she never has. Not even in the comfort of their own home. It’s strictly prohibited, good practice for the outside world, Alice says.

But it means Betty doubts her parents' love a lot. They’re married, but it doesn’t seem like it. It doesn’t seem real because of these rules, so maybe it isn’t. After all, is anyone really, truly in love?

She spends her teenage years thinking that no, no one can really experience love in this sick, twisted world. The films seemed fake. They _were_ fake, she knows this, but she felt as if the actors couldn’t properly act these scenes of love because they themselves had never experienced it. 

At least, that is what she thinks until she meets him. 

One person can change everything.

She meets Jughead at 17. He transfers to Riverdale High in the middle of junior year, and Betty volunteers to be his mentor to help him settle in. Of course, Weatherbee jumps at the idea.

She and Jughead hit it off almost immediately. As it turns out, he’s an aspiring author, attempting to write his way through high school – a novel about the death of a teenager in the town over – so she invites him to join the Blue & Gold with her.

Soon enough, they spend almost every waking minute together, whether that’s at school, in Pop’s or off investigating. They form a friendship like no other, a bond stronger than most. They’re inseparable, and Betty would not have in any other way.

But it isn’t until the summer after junior year that she realizes that her feelings towards the boy who wormed his way into her life might not just be platonic.

In other words, she’s falling in love with her best friend.

At first, nothing changes between them. She manages to keep her newfound revelation under wraps, convincing herself that it isn’t _love_ love. How would someone who has never seen true love really know what it’s like? She wouldn’t, of course. 

Well, that’s what she tells herself.

But as time goes on, she finds it more and more difficult to hide her feelings. 

He makes her happy, happier than she’s ever been before. He makes her heart swell and soar and flip. He makes her want to kiss him.

Those rules that have surrounded her for her whole life start to become suffocating. She wants to smash them down, prove to the world that love isn’t something to be forbidden, swept under the carpet, concealed.

In the end, she can’t hide the fact that she _loves_ Jughead Jones. She loves him despite what the world around them says.

During the summer, they spend even more time together. She only becomes more sure of her feelings. Part of her expected the opposite to happen. Maybe they’d fizzle out, maybe it was just a phase, but as time goes by, she learns that is not the case. 

And she thinks he feels the same.

It’s unchartered territory for her, for the pair of them. She doesn’t know what _normal_ protocol for this would be, let alone in the unprecedented world they live in. But she wants to learn. She wants to tell him how she feels and she wants to work out what to do _together_.

One late summer evening towards the end of break, they’re hanging out by the swimming hole. It’s just a stone's throw away from Sweetwater River, but out of the way enough that it’s hidden, quiet, a place just for them. They’d been swimming during the day, and now they’re lying side by side on blankets, watching the stars.

It’s romantic, really, if that’s something Betty can comprehend. And the perfect moment, if there ever is one.

“Hey, Jug?” she whispers, afraid to disturb the darkness around them she’s so grateful for.

He hums his acknowledgment.

“I need to tell you something.” Her voice is shaky and unsure, and she sits up to face him.

He sits up, too, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What’s up?”

With a deep breath, she swallows thickly and speaks. “I know this… isn’t allowed, or whatever, but–”

“I know, Betty,” he interrupts, a small smile on his lips.

“You…?”

He nods. “I like you, too.” She can’t help the grin that spreads across her face. 

“I was trying to wait for a good time to tell you,” he explains. “I don’t know how to do this kind of stuff, Betts.”

She meets his eyes, allowing her gaze to momentarily fall to his lips. “I– Jug?”

He glances around them before bringing his hand up to gently cup her face. She nods ever so slightly at him, and they both lean forward, lips meeting in the middle. It’s inexperienced, it’s messy, it’s needy, but it’s perfect. It’s perfect because it’s them.

Feeling his lips move against hers feels better than she could’ve expected. She doesn’t want to stop, but after a moment, she pulls away, scared that someone will see.

They’re both grinning when she does, and in that moment, she’s never been so sure that she loves him.

Yet no matter how perfect it feels or how much she loves him, any form of affection is forbidden. 

And there lies the problem.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she says, leaning her forehead against his. Already, she can feel herself craving any form of contact with him, _some_ kind of affection. And she can tell it’ll get all-consuming.

He runs his thumb across her cheek. “No, we shouldn’t.” He pauses, pulling back slightly so he can look at her. “But I want to.”

She feels vulnerable under his gaze, like anything she says or does will come from her true self, no front like with others. With a deep breath, she holds her hand out. “I want to, too.”

The hand caressing her face drops down to hold the one she offers. He clutches it tightly, an action that seems far more intimate than kissing ever could.

“So we’re doing this, then? Despite everything telling me we shouldn’t?” His voice is soft, nothing accusatory or spiteful about it. He just wants a straight answer.

In her heart, she knows he’s right. There are so many things telling them _not_ to do this. From a single kiss and a joining of their hands, she knows this is going to be difficult. Because in a world where PDA is forbidden, that comes with a price. A price for breaking the rules, a price for the rules existing in the first place. In this world, forbidden PDA means frowned upon love, frowned upon relationships unless they are with the purpose of marriage. And at 17, relationships aren’t the norm.

So Jughead is right. They’d be risking a lot to make this work. Hell, they could be risking their lives. 

But sometimes, it’s worth it. Sometimes, the right person is worth it. And Betty believes Jughead is.

“Yeah,” she smiles, “you’re worth any risk.”

–

To begin with, it’s okay, it’s _doable_. They’re both shy with any lingering touches. Kisses are few and far between and always in the depths of the woods with the anonymity the darkness of the night holds. Extra time together goes unnoticed. They're just friends, right? Of course they wouldn’t take it any further. 

Perhaps in a world where something so natural is forbidden, it forces people to turn a blind eye, to be brainwashed by society so they can’t see what’s right in front of them. Because no one notices, for a while at least. No one notices how happy Betty is around Jughead, how she sneaks off late at night only to come back with a wide grin and a flushed face, guilty of little in her mind, yet some in the eyes of others. 

As more time passes, the nights together get longer, the kisses get deeper, and the touches get braver. It’s stupid, it’s downright reckless, but neither of them can bring themselves to care. They bask in the feeling of love, of being wanted, consequences be damned. 

Once school starts back up, they try to be less obvious. Working together on the Blue & Gold makes it difficult, but luckily, most of their classes are separate so Betty doesn’t have to deal with the distraction that is _her boyfriend_.

And he is her boyfriend. After a long conversation in the early hours of the morning, fuelled by rain, they decide that labeling their relationship is what they want. No one else knows, no one else _can_ know, but it’s something for _them_.

It feels good. It feels really fucking good to have a boyfriend, secret or not.

But it’s _tough_. She wants to hold his hand walking to school, she wants to kiss him chastely before class, she wants to be normal in this abnormal world.

They can’t. It’s the price they pay. They both know that.

For lunch break, they sit with a couple of their friends. It’s easier to be subtle when they’re not alone, the temptation diluted by being surrounded by others. But Veronica is eagle-eyed. 

It’s a normal Wednesday. Nothing extraordinary happens over lunch, just idle chatter about classes. Betty offers Jughead her apple, as she usually does, which he takes. When she hands it to him, their fingers brush, sending a bolt of electricity through her body. It results in her face blushing a dark red color, and she finds it difficult to focus for the rest of lunch.

Of course, Veronica notices. Before she knows it, she’s being pulled into the empty Blue & Gold office before biology class.

“Veronica, what–?”

She locks the door, shushing Betty. “Spill girl.”

Trying to act confused even though she knows exactly what her friend is talking about, she shakes her head. “Spill _what_?”

“Betty!” she says with a loud sigh. “You and Jughead, obviously.”

“There is no– He’s my friend, V.”

She lets out a hollow laugh, rolling her eyes. “Of course he is.” She pauses, looking Betty directly in the eye. “I’m not stupid.”

Beginning to panic, she doesn’t know what to do. Under Veronica’s gaze, she feels like she’s squirming, trying to worm her way out of a situation that could end so badly. She stands wordless, unable to string together even a poor excuse.

Veronica softens her usually-demanding voice. “Look, B, you’re my friend and I’m worried about you.” 

The sentiment is clear, but Betty doesn’t like where it’s going.

“What I’m trying to say is… if, and I mean _if_ ,” —she holds her hands up in defense— “there is something going on there, please be careful. I _care_ about you.” She lowers her hands, bringing one out to pat Betty’s shoulder.

It’s a first for Veronica, something that means a lot to Betty. Hugging and touching friends in such a way is rare, barely ever happens. They’ve always been taught not to, for practice in other senses of their lives, so for Veronica to break that in an attempt to reassure her, she knows it must be real.

“I will,” Betty says with a small smile. “Thank you, V.”

That night, in the depths of the woods, she tells Jughead about her encounter. She’s scared about telling him, worried about his reaction. Other people are noticing – this is when it gets dangerous. 

He steps towards her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He brings a hand up to the back to her head, pulling it into his chest. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’ll all be okay.”

She revels in the feeling of him, her arms snaked around his waist. He’s warm and comforting and he feels like home. He feels like home in a way her house doesn’t, in a way this town doesn’t, in a way this world never could. 

Moving her head back, she looks at him with a distinct softness in her eyes. “Juggie,” she murmurs, swallowing down any lingering nerves, “I love you.”

He grins bigger than she’s ever seen before. “I love you, too.”

Instead of replying, she leans forward to connect their lips. She can feel him smiling into the kiss, which only serves to make it more difficult to continue, yet she does anyway. Melting into it, she parts her lips, allowing him to deepen it.

–

Betty had heard the phrase _honeymoon period_ before, never in relation to real life, always in films. She never fully understood it, and looking back, she realizes how strange it is that everyone adores romance movies when they hate love as a part of reality, that her parents allowed, and in some cases, _forced_ her and Polly to watch them. Maybe it was some kind of twisted attempt to get them to differentiate between fiction and reality, but Betty doesn’t know. 

So the phrase had been thrown around before, she knows what it means, but she never _understood_ it before Jughead. She never understood a lot before Jughead.

Since she confessed her love to him, since he said it back, keeping their relationship both secret and above board becomes near on impossible. She wants to be with him all the time, she wants to show the world how much she loves him, she wants to be _allowed_ to be in love. 

Blah, blah, the price they pay, she _knows._

But it doesn’t make it any easier.

Nothing makes it any easier.

She starts to get angry, angry that they live in a world where things are so goddamn unfair. She knows, really, that there are worse things out there than not being able to show her love for Jughead. The world is an awful place. Which makes her think… Why have they chosen to take away such a simple thing? It seems to be a mystery bigger than one her and Jughead can solve.

Things start to get intense at school and at home, leaving Betty in need of her boyfriend but with limited time to see him. They chat on the phone when possible, always eat lunch together, and make time to spend together at the weekends, but it’s just not enough. 

She misses him so much that she contemplates telling her parents, risking _even more_ , just to see him. 

Of course, he talks her out of it. He talks her out of it because this isn’t something to be done when their lives could be at risk. He’s right to do so, yet that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. 

After a particularly bad week at school topped off by a mountain of pressure from Alice, Betty decides she cannot wait just one more day to see Jughead. It’s 11:56 pm and both of her parents are long asleep. With a few extra glasses of wine over dinner, she knows they won’t be waking up until at least 8 am, so she texts Jughead.

_B: I miss you. Can we meet?_

He replies almost immediately.

_J: Please. Normal place?_

She grins to herself.

_B: Yes. See you soon <3_

As quietly as possible, she gets changed from her pajamas and climbs out of her bedroom window.

Less than fifteen minutes later, she is curled up in his arms, listening to the soft lapping of the river and the gentle beating of his heart, wishing she could stay here forever. 

It’s cliche, at least in the romantic movies’ sense, to think that while she’s with him, everything will be okay, but it feels true. It feels true even though being with him could be the reason her life, _both_ of their lives, are ruined, even destroyed. 

Sometimes she thinks it doesn’t matter. Their love is strong enough. They can get through anything. Deep down, she knows it’s not true. She knows in a normal world that it _could_ be true, just not in this one. She’s looking at it with rose-tinted glasses and too much hope. It does matter, of course it matters. 

Jughead must sense her overthinking. “Are you okay?” he mumbles.

Her immediate reaction is to nod. She doesn’t want him to worry but she doesn’t want to outright lie to him either. 

In the end, she decides to tell him.

“I don’t like this, Juggie,” she says, head resting on his chest. “I don’t like having to hide.”

He sighs. One of his hands is resting on her side while the other tangles through her hair. “I know. Me too. But I don’t know what else we can do, Betty.” He swallows thickly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Yeah,” she manages to force out. She’s on the verge of tears, and it’s evident in her voice. 

Pressing a kiss into her hair, he pulls her closer to him, holding her even tighter. “I’m here,” he reminds her, “I’ll always be here.”

It’s a promise she’s not sure he’ll be able to keep. Always is a loaded term. Always. Not just now, not just _for now_ , always. Forever and always. That isn’t certain. As much as she wants forever, she wants always, reality isn’t always so kind. 

“I hope so,” is what she mumbles in reply, burying her head in his chest, deciding to at least attempt to ignore the world around them _for now_. 

Betty doesn’t go home that night. Another risk she shouldn’t take, another risk she can’t bring herself to care about. She wants to stay with Jughead, so she does. They stay in the quiet clearing by the river, laying together under the stars. They talk about life, they talk about what life _could_ be like.

It’s bittersweet, really. 

Tears are shed for what could’ve been, but in the end, they’re both grateful for what they have, that they found one another despite everything. 

In the depths of the night, Betty becomes brave. She wants to make happier memories, end a bad week on better times. So she pushes the blanket off of them and climbs on top of Jughead. As she straddles his hips, she meets his eyes. Without having to say anything, he nods his approval, and she moves down to meet his lips. 

Nothing more is said between them. They just kiss, slowly at first, then with more passion, more want, more need. Yeah, it’s dangerous, idiotic even, but in a way, that makes it better. It makes Betty want him even more.

She rolls her hips against his experimentally, partly worried for his reaction, partly too turned on to care. The breathy groan he lets out is all she needs.

“Jug,” she pants, pulling back just enough to get her words out, “we shouldn’t do this… right?”

She’s halfheartedly looking for him to convince her not to go further, but with the way he’s looking at her, eyes dilated and glazed over, that’s not what she’s going to get. (She isn’t mad about it, though.)

“We… shouldn’t,” he says lowly, “but I want to. Do you?”

_Talk about a loaded fucking question_.

“Yes,” she responds before meeting his lips once again. 

–

Waking up in Jughead’s arms is something Betty wants to get used to. 

She wakes up early, even earlier than usual, when the sun begins to rise at just before 6:30 am. He’s still sleeping soundly next to her, an ever so slight smile on his face. He looks peaceful, _satisfied_ – that one she’s sure of – and, well, beautiful. A sight she wants to see more of.

Something that may never come true. Especially if they keep acting so recklessly.

With a sad sigh, she tries to ignore her thoughts. She cuddles back up to him, closing her eyes and listening to his level breathing. She knows sleep isn’t going to overtake her again, especially knowing she should be home by 8, so she waits for Jughead to wake.

He does, around 10 minutes later.

“Morning,” she whispers, leaning on her elbow. She brings a hand up to brush a stray strand of hair out of his eye.

“Hey,” he croaks, face breaking out in a smile. 

Unable to resist, she leans down to kiss him. It’s gentle, definitely not going anywhere, and full of love. Every word she wants to be able to say condensed down into a kiss.

When she leans back, smiling, she says, “I love you so much, Jug.”

“I love you, too, Betty,” he replies and she can tell he means it.

–

As much as she tries, Betty cannot get back into the _normal_ swing of things after her and Jughead’s night together. 

It’s just… he makes her feel better. He makes her feel whole. It sounds stupid, but it feels true. And she feels as if no one will ever understand. 

She deals with it as best she can.

But once the winter takes ahold in upstate New York, everything gets somehow more complicated. Their usual routine of secret rendezvous late at night amidst darkness can be no more. Instead, kisses are stolen in the Blue & Gold office once everyone else has gone home, and her favorite way of waking up beside him is no more.

At school – where they see each other the most – they hide away as best as they can, yet with every movement, every glance, Veronica is there watching them, making eyes at Betty.

One day, she drags the pair of them into an empty classroom.

“You two are the complete opposite of subtle,” she almost announces, folding her arms. 

Betty’s eyes meet Jughead’s in a panic. “I...No–Sorry, what?” she stumbles.

He seems entirely less panicked than her. “What are you trying to say, Veronica?” he says calmly.

She laughs hollowly. “The pair of you are definitely not just friends.”

“Yes we are,” Jughead snaps, throwing his arms up in the air. 

“Jughead!” Betty warns under her breath. Turning to Veronica, she tries a calmer approach. “V, relationships aren’t really, you know, _allowed_.”

She blinks disbelievingly. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

_Well,_ Betty thinks _, she’s not wrong._

Jughead sighs loudly. “Look, we appreciate your _concern_ , or whatever, but there’s nothing going on so you can drop it.”

Veronica walks over to the door, looking back and eyeing them both suspiciously. “This isn’t the last you’ve heard,” she tells them before walking out, leaving Betty and Jughead alone.

Neither say anything for a moment, the silence around them becoming deafening. 

Betty doesn’t move. As much as she wants to wrap her arms around him, now is more dangerous than ever. Her brain whirls with thoughts of what just happened, and what _could_ happen. 

She can’t hold back anymore. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she mutters, aggressively rubbing at her eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. 

“Betts–” 

“Don’t.” She doesn’t look over at him, but she can see him nod out of the corner of her eye. 

For some reason, it breaks her heart. 

Before either of them can say or do anything else, the bell rings and he speeds out of the door without even a glance back. He doesn’t appear in their joint biology class, so Betty has to deal with narrowed eyes in her direction from Veronica alone.

–

Three days after what Betty dubbed _the Veronica incident_ and three days of not hearing or seeing Jughead at all, she receives a text from him. Seeing his name light up her phone makes her heart race in both a good and a bad way. 

It’s a warm-for-the-winter Saturday afternoon. She’d tried and failed to concentrate on studying, instead her brain distracted with concerns about her relationship and her boyfriend. And it’s not like she can talk to anyone about it, so she hides up in her room, countless texts and phone calls unanswered until his name pops up.

_Hey, Betts,_ it reads, _I’m really sorry for, well, you know. Can you meet me at Pop’s asap?_

She smiles despite herself. 

_Of course_ , she replies _, I’m on my way._

Practically jumping up, she grabs an old hoodie from her closet, shrugging it on. She contemplates climbing out the window, but she thinks she can get away with telling Alice at least part of the truth today.

As she heads downstairs, she receives another text. 

_I love you_.

She almost skips to Pop’s with excitement. She feels like a stupid lovesick teenager, until she realizes that, _oh, I am a stupid lovesick teenager._ A stupid lovesick teenager in a world where that very concept is frowned upon, in a world where she’ll never be able to show her true feelings.

The thought torments her until she sees Jughead leaning against the side of Pop’s. His face lights up when he sees her, and she thinks that maybe they aren’t as subtle as they thought.

“Hi,” she says as she comes to a stop next to him. An appropriate distance away even though it stings. 

“Hey.” He stops smiling, his hand edging towards hers like it’s an automatic reaction, a _want_ to have some kind of contact with her. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles with a shrug, dropping his arm back to his side.

“It’s okay,” she tells him. Because it is. It is okay despite wishing it was different. Things _aren’t_ different and that’s not Jughead’s fault. (Betty’s surprised at her own revelation.) “Shall we?”

They walk into Pop’s in silence, a strange air of awkwardness between them. They sit in their usual booth, surprisingly free for this time of the day. 

Jughead sits opposite her. That’s not weird as such. In fact, that’s completely normal, yet it feels weird. The couple of feet between them seems like a million miles. And getting any conversation out of him is tough. He picks at a plate of fries, barely meets her eyes, and around half an hour in, Betty’s had enough.

“Jughead,” she says harsher than necessary. When he noticeably winces, she sighs and softens her voice. “What’s wrong, Juggie?” She wants to reach her hand over the table to rest atop his, just to show him _some_ kind of comfort, but she refrains.

“Can we go?” he says in a small voice. “I just, I want–”

She nods knowingly. She downs the rest of her coffee and pushes her half-eaten plate away, which luckily they’d already paid for, before standing up. He mirrors her actions, tilting his head towards the door.

Now, she doesn’t know what possesses her to do it. It isn’t… a conscious decision. Just something she _does_. 

It’s dangerous, it’s reckless, but it feels so _right_.

She steps over to Jughead and takes his hand in hers. She links their fingers together, squeezing gently. There’s no protest from him at all. He squeezes back, looking over at her with a grin on his face. It’s as if neither of them remember what could happen.

And neither of them do until the room around them goes quiet. Completely silent. A pin drop would’ve been deafening. 

But it doesn’t matter when they have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> ahh so what did you think? please let me know! i really enjoyed writing something a bit different and i hope you liked reading it.
> 
> ao3 emails make my day so please leave comments and kudos!!
> 
> thank you for reading. i know there are a lot of bad things happening in the world at the moment and all i hope for is that my writing gives you a little break from reality. 
> 
> until next time <3


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